The Game Grumps in: JON'S TRYST
by Smash the Ecchidna
Summary: The shocking truth behind JonTron breaking up with Egoraptor.
1. I: Not So Grump

**The Game Grumps in:**

**JON'S TRYST**

The shocking truth behind JonTron breaking up with Egoraptor.

A Narrative Exposé by Smash the Ecchidna

* * *

**I**

**Not So Grump**

* * *

Aaron "Egoraptor" Handsome drunkenly lifted himself up from bed and rubbed his tired, bloodshot eyes. His hair, unkempt and greasy, flowed messily as he stretched and yawned. Tears wept during his sleep stained his pillowcase, and his bedsheets were wet with sweat and mucus. Around him, game cartridges, thrown controllers, and used underpants were strewn about and left to gather dust; moonlight only barely crept through the windows to illuminate the disarray. Egoraptor turned to look at the empty side of his bed, the one he used to share with his true love, Jon "JonTron" Tron, and sighed a deep, melancholic sigh.

It had been several months since Jon had left, stating, in these exact words: "Eggo, listen, I can't stay here forever, stewin' in this Game Grumps gumbo. I got my own fish to fry: the JonTron Show, ya know! I'll ketchup with you on the flip-side." With that said, he packed his things, booked a flight to New York, and never looked back.

Egoraptor was heartbroken, but he tried to be strong, supporting the wishes of his closest companion. "He'll return someday..." he thought optimistically. "I just have to keep on grumping on until then...!"

But ever since that day, the Game Grumps channel stagnated. Nobody liked Egoraptor's new boyfriend, Dan the "Sex Pirate," nor did anyone like the new show, "Steamy Train" with "Rub Off" Ross. Indeed, as soon as the changes were announced, subscribers were in an uproar.

"I'm scared, where is Jon and Erin? I NEED AN ADULT," cried one commenter.

"YOU ARE NOT THE GAMEGRUMPS. YOU ARE NOT NOT SO GRUMP," heckled another toward Dan.

"I cant watch this. The first turn off was the intro. In my mind it said "Hey Im Grump! Im the New Jon! Annnnnnnnd were the Game Grumps!" The second was the fact that Danny doesnt connect with Arin the way Jon did. How often would Jon talk about Arins videos? A SHIT LOAD. JON WAS A FAN of Arin before Game Grumps. You cant imitate that kind of bond," criticized a third.

"R.I.P. GameGrumps."

…

As the nights grew darker and harsher, so too did Egoraptor's condition. Behind the scenes, he became more irritable, regularly lashing out at his partners for not being "Jon-ty" enough during videos. He would also start to experience random, violent panic attacks, often during recording; retakes were frequent, much to the chagrin of everyone else. Drinking problems consumed him too, and though his friends tried to take him off the bottle, Egoraptor would never agree to let go of his "little Jonny."

His depression was outwardly visible as well. Whenever he didn't show up for recording, he would always be found in bed, either asleep or sobbing heavily. He hadn't bathed in weeks, as the only thing that made bath time fun for him was the company of Jon. His teeth yellowed from lack of brushing, and his breath stunk more than the first episode of Naughty Bear. A lock of his hair even spontaneously started to grey. But most noticeably of all, his chin had shrunk to a fraction of its former size, and many of his fans became unable to recognize him as a result. Suffice to say, Aaron Handsome was definitely not as 'Handsome' as he used to be.

Egoraptor checked the time. It was 4 o'clock in the morning. At this time, he and Jon would usually be gaming in bed, or having a pillow fight, or playing cuddle crab, or...

The memories were all too much for Egoraptor. He lost control of himself again, flailing his fists against the walls, kicking his feet at his furniture, throwing his belongings angrily into already large piles, and howling lamentable howls which echoed through the emptiness of his house. Eventually, he would fall to the ground, whimpering quietly in a fetal position. The spot he would collapse in never changed: it was the same spot where he and Jon would "put the bun in the oven," as the latter used to say.

Nothing of this sordid scene was out of the ordinary for Egoraptor these days; such outbursts had essentially become routine for him. However, tonight was not like other nights. Egoraptor could not stand seeing Jon only in his restless dreams any longer. This night, Egoraptor finally decided to make a move to get his dear Jonny back in his life. He stumbled toward the phone, steadied his breathing, and lifted the device to his ear.

"H-Hello, operator...? Get me Flannie-san."

* * *

**To Be Continued**


	2. II: Flan Eater - Part 1

**The Game Grumps in:**

**JON'S TRYST**

The shocking truth behind JonTron breaking up with Egoraptor.

A Narrative Exposé by Smash the Ecchidna

* * *

**II**

**Flan Eater – Part 1**

* * *

Flannelson held the pair of boxer shorts to his nostrils and sniffed them intimately. Immediately, the smell was engrained within his mind; while it was true JonTron was always diligent with the laundry, he never could entirely rid his garments of his unique scent. With that out of the way, Flannelson jumped off the rooftop, spread the aforementioned boxers out, and took to the sky.

As he breezed toward his destination, the mysterious ninja animator assumed the lotus position, meditating whilst recollecting the hours beforehand. The call was sudden, in the middle of the night when no sane person would be awake, but Flannelson was always prepared for duty. "Moshi moshi, Flannelson desu," he said as he tuned in to his nanocommunications.

"F-Flannie? It's Ego," sobbed Egoraptor's voice from the other end of the line. "Your poppy just can't bear the anguish of being without his Jonny-Wonny a day longer. I'm sending you out to retrieve him.

"Your mission is to infiltrate the Big Apple, locate Jon 'JonTron' Tron, and bring his burly bod back into my arms. Use whatever means necessary, as long as you recover him alive and safe. However, as you know, New York hosts many of the world's most zealous fans of both myself and Jon; alerting them of your undertaking will cause an 'internet-ional' scandal far too great for me to handle. This will be a sneaking mission. You must not be seen by the enemy. You must leave no trace of your presence. Is that clear?"

"Hai."

"Hello. Okay, good luck." After giving his most staunch subordinate a 'bye-bye mwah-mwah', Egoraptor dropped the mic, and Flannelson began his virtuous mission.

… Before we move on…

You may be wondering, who exactly is Flannelson, what exactly is his relationship with Egoraptor, and where does his undying loyalty for his master come from? Why Egoraptor trust this enigmatic character enough to declare him his 'third member'? Well, to answer that, we will have to turn back the clock a bit.

August 23rd, 2012. A video titled "Game Grumps Animated – Trust Issues – by Flannelson" is uploaded to YouTube. Grump Groupies as well as animation admirers loved it; the video currently sits over 800,000 views with an almost entirely positive response. September 8th, 2012. "Game Grumps Animated – Kirby in Grumpland – by Flannelson" is met with even greater success, surpassing the one-million viewer mark with the same amount of critical acclaim.

Four months later: February 3rd, 2013. "Game Grumps Animated – Kirby Ruins Friendships – by Flannelson" is uploaded to the Game Grumps' main channel. Once again, Flannelson had created a video adored by all but the most arrogant of Grump Grumblers; but more importantly, it meant that Flannelson and the Game Grumps were now officially connected – connected by fate, or, as they say in Japan, "Watashi wa we be FATE CONNECT desuka." It was an unexpected but nonetheless excellent occasion for the Game Grumps.

Now, most people assumed that Flannelson was just another aspiring cartoonist who enjoyed the Game Grumps enough to animate them and was talented enough to become a part of their inner circle. This is technically accurate, but the truth actually runs far deeper than that. Let us go back even further into the distant past, before the Game Grumps were even a glimmer of light on a dark Earth.

…

September 11th, 2001. The United States is rocked by an unprecedented terrorist attack. Americans throughout the country became fearful for their security, and their faith in the government began to decline. President George "Bushy" Bush had to act quickly to keep his country together; he requested immediate, effective response from his most trusted aides.

The team was made up of America's most intelligent scientists along with a multitude of religious leaders, both conventional and esoteric. Working without rest, they conducted an experiment to genetically engineer a humanoid weapon capable of infiltrating the terrorists' nest and decimating them from within. To do this, they first brought out an ancient artefact acquired from the Japanese at the end of World War II: the flannel robe of the anime god, Animeterasu. Second, they secured a baby boy – but not just any baby boy. He was a baby boy born on the Fourth of July, within the head of the Statue of Liberty, during the climax of the annual fireworks show, as a full moon shone down on him, whilst a bald eagle perched nearby and crooned 'The Star-Spangled Banner'. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the boy would become a true patriot.

These two ingredients were all the team needed. The plan was simple: they would synthetically and spiritually merge the flannel into the child's cells and soul, effectively granting him the sacred powers of anime. And it actually worked! Unfortunately, this boon came with a terrible side-effect: the boy's skin was permanently marred with a flannel pattern dyed red, white, and blue. No terrorist would possibly let him into their ranks, and because of that, the United States had no use for him. Thus, they threw him out onto the streets, deciding instead to solve their problems the old-fashioned way...

…

For several years, the child was alone in the world. He was able to fend for himself because he had anime, but the ostracization from society ate away at him day after day.

"You horrible flannel child!" one passerby shouted as she walked past, spurning his appearance.

"Why is he so flannel?" asked another boy to his parents as they crossed his path.

And the wastrel would wonder why, cursing his condition as he lingered on, existing without meaning. Existing without purpose. Existing... without love.

That is, until one fateful day: the day Egoraptor graced him with His presence.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

Greets to my loyal fansies. This is Smash the Ecchidna, AKA Your Smoochi.

I apologize for my appalling plodding in putting out a new page for you peeps to peruse.

As they say, true art takes time, and true time takes art.

Irregardless, waits should not weigh more than a week from this waypoint.

Remember: I love you. Never give up. Aim for the top.

_.S.t.E._


	3. IIV: Flan Eater - Part 2

**The Game Grumps in:**

**JON'S TRYST**

The shocking truth behind JonTron breaking up with Egoraptor.

A Narrative Exposé by Smash the Ecchidna

* * *

**II.V**

**Flan Eater – Part 2**

* * *

On the last episode of JON'S TRYST, Flannelson, the Sugoi Sidekick, was sent out on a top secret mission by an anxious Egoraptor. The goal: to locate and retrieve Jon "JonTron" Tron, restoring the Game Grumps to their former glory. Along with that, we managed to learn a little bit about Egoraptor's third member and his past as the Flannel Child. Now, let us return to where we left off, so that we may discover the date that the child was freed from famine by our hero, Egoraptor...

…

It was the hottest summer afternoon on record, and the child had nowhere to go to shield himself from the sun's blazing rays. Though he was made of flannel, the child would still sweat like any other ordinary person, except even worse, as his colors would start to run. Exhausted, he found himself collapsed in the middle of a deserted, sweltering street, barely able to move. As he struggled to get back on his feet, his perspiration leaked onto the pavement, forming a palette of sorts around him. Eventually, he gave up, and, believing this was his final hour, he began to paint a vibrant image with his own excrement.

He was desperate to leave a trace of his existence behind, something that would show he could have been someone truly sensational were it not for the scorn society cast toward him and his affliction. He toiled without regard for his well-being as he brushed every layer with excruciating detail. As the painting grew, the world around him faded away, until all he could see were his arms and his art. At long last, the child was satisfied, and he allowed himself to succumb to the heat.

…

The child would have died there, an abandoned aberration of U.S. ambition, were it not for Egoraptor skateboarding in from the sky at that very moment. He popped a wheelie, backflipped onto the ground, and lowered his rad triangular shades. His eyes widened with awe as he took in the tubular scene before him: with his own literal sweat and blood, the child had repainted Michelangelo's "The Creation of Adam" with Adam as Naruto and God as Goku before he passed out. Moreover, as the paint evaporated from the road, the image animated itself, each frame more vivid than the last, before it all finally dispersed into a prismatic plume of pure perfection. It was so amazing, so marvelous, it might as well have been recognized as the Eighth Wonder of the World.

Egoraptor huffed the psychedelic smoke into his toke-holes and rubbed his chin as he ogled the orphan near his feet, wondering what he should do with him. On one hand, he could walk away, ignoring the child's plight. There was no one else in the vicinity; nobody would accuse him of neglecting the life of this plaid pariah. More to the point, he was still a minor himself; he couldn't possibly raise a kid, especially at a time when being a single teen parent was so harshly stigmatized!

On the other hand, he saw himself in the child. He recalled his own days as an outcast in elementary school: the days where people knew him not as Egoraptor, but as "Chunky McChins." He hated that name, and he hated all of his classmates for using it. But he showed them – he showed them online; and now, he could give that kind of in-your-face opportunity to another struggling young artist.

In the end, Egoraptor knew he had to do the child good. He bent down and stroked his head gently, then tied him to his skateboard. As the two rolled out toward the sunset, both of them acknowledged that, from then on, their lives would never be the same.

…

"Worry not, my Flannel Son, for just as Goku breathed life into Naruto, so too shall I breathe life into you."

_Book of Ego 4:20_

* * *

**To Be Continued**


	4. IIVIIV: Flan Eater - Part Three

**The Game Grumps in:**

**JON'S TRYST**

The shocking truth behind JonTron breaking up with Egoraptor.

A Narrative Exposé by Smash the Ecchidna

* * *

**II . VIIV**

**Flan Eater – Part Three**

* * *

For the next decade, Egoraptor raised his Flannel Son – whom he affectionately referred to as Flannie-san – as if he were his own offspring. He homeschooled his son, teaching him like he would an apprentice, about the ins-and-outs of Flash Animation, elegantly elaborating on sophisticated topics such as "how to draw fucked-up faces" and "why tweens are bullshit." These lessons were not for ordinary folks; they could last for hours upon hours, and many drawing tablets shattered from their intensity. The two would often end up exhausted at the end of each session, but they never broke their stride. Egoraptor was determined to help his son achieve his full potential, and Flannie was determined to make his father proud.

It was not as if they didn't set time aside to enjoy themselves, though; indeed, numerous nights were devoted solely to their favorite hobby: video games. Egoraptor played the role of Flannie's guide through his collection of games: games both old and new; simple and complex; dark and bright. Together, they saved the peaches, crossed the animals, and caught the Pokes; they hedged the hogs, witnessed the war-changes, and cried at the Aerisdies. And as their avatars grew, so too did Flannie, his escapades through electronic environments renewing his sprained spirit. Especially Kirby. Flannie loved Kirby. He loved him so much that Sakurai was essentially his uncle. Sakurai made his Milky Way wishes a reality.

Of course, the project of parenthood was not easy for Egoraptor. To pay the bills, he had to increase his Newgrounds notoriety tenfold. He concocted many cartoons during those days and regularly involved himself in the dubious domain of 'collaborations' and 'merchandise'. At several points, he even had to sell himself; his hair, that is. In secret, he would have Flannie snip thick locks of hair from his head to sell to an anonymous client – one who paid well over the market price. The entire process was always traumatic to the typically temperate Egoraptor; the moments his fabulous fibers fell to the floor would leave him in tears, and the following weeks would be characterized by his reluctance to go outside until his man-mane was massive again. But he knew he had to do whatever he could for the sake of his son. To say the least, Egoraptor was a supermom.

…

All in all, despite the difficulties, they were as happy as clams. Through adopting Flannie, Egoraptor gained not only an awesome son, but an animator acquaintance almost as amazing as he was; and Flannie finally had a place he could call home, with a father who loved him as dear as Doritos.

However, as the years went by, the keen Flannie began to take note of the nefarious forces present in the world. Newgrounds users, YouTube commenters, rival artists, reality TV, you name it – these sinister scoundrels were all looking to shred a slice off the Egoraptor éclair, and Flannie was certain that his dad, already busy with so much, could not handle them alone. The time was right – Flannie had grown enough. Now it was his turn to protect him.

In the month of January 2011, as Egoraptor tended to his work, Flannie stealthily started an independent production on his own. Using all the skills his father had taught him, he crafted a cartoon of Luigi doing a baller boogie, and, under the alias of "Flannelson," he uploaded it to Newgrounds on the 24th. Although it was the first animation he had ever exhibited to the public, it was a smashing success. He got the Daily 2nd Place, the Weekly 4th Place, and even the Front Page Place – not to mention, reviews up the wazoo.

…

"Totally caught me off guard and I enjoyed every frickin second of it."

"GO MAN GO! DANCE THAT ASS! WOOOOO! XD"

"i wish i had that hair"

"YEAA! Mr. L is the man im almmost wet ._."

"so perfect"

…

Egoraptor slammed into the room soon afterward, tears welling up in his enchanted eyes. He could not have been more proud – just like his dad did at his age, Flannie had shown them online. They held each other tight and bumped their butts ceremoniously to signify his ascent into adulthood. The flannel bird was ready to leave the raptor nest.

…

And that, my darlings, was the story of how the flannel child, a forsaken mutation of United States science, forged his own future as Third Member Flannelson, the mysterious ninja animator; on the surface he sketches, and from the shadows he strikes!

…

_Ooh, Anim Ninja Warrior_

_With your art so bold_

… _Son-Flannel …_

* * *

**To Be Continued**


End file.
